Catty Mommies

When I say "mean mommy", I don't mean this.  Can't we all just get along?
http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/141695/8_meanest_things_moms_say   

Ho Ho Ho or No No No?

Words of Wisdom

From 1st Grade to Police Lineup

You all know how I walk my kiddo to school and pick her up in the afternoon, right? I have an assigned spot where I wait for her to come out of the building with her class, so that her teacher can see me and give her permission to leave the line. I'm always afraid I'm going to be late, so I leave my house with time to spare and end up waiting there a few minutes. There is one particular class that tends to be the first one out, and several of the kids like to talk to me while waiting to be released by their teacher. Today, though, things got out of hand. I was talking to one girl, when a boy threw something at me. It hit my shirt and bounced off. I thought it was an acorn, and said that it wasn't nice to throw acorns at people. He said "it wasn't an acorn, it was a rock". Seriously. It must have been about the size of an acorn, maybe a bit bigger. If it had hit my face or hand, it might have broken the skin. I was furious, and told him that what he did was not OK, and that I didn't like it.There was a sub right there, and I think she may have mistaken me for a teacher since I was by standing near the door. In any case, she didn't do anything, and just walked to her car.

Here is my mistake: I didn't speak to anyone at the school right away. I was expecting someone at my house at 2:30, and hurried the kiddo home so we wouldn't be late. I did, however, call the school as soon as we got home, and spoke with the Assistant Principal, who was very concerned. She got all the pertinent information and figured out which class the offender is in. Then, we decided that I will visit the classroom tomorrow morning, after I drop off the kiddo, to identify the boy. Yeah, kinda like a police lineup.

I'm glad I reprimanded the boy, that I spoke to the Assistant Principal, and that the substitute won't get in trouble. And I have a feeling that this won't be the last time that the boy will be in lineup.

Limited-Range Kid

This afternoon I let the kiddo go over to the neighbors' house. They live 2 houses up from us, on the same side of the street. I walked her over, said she could play until 4:00, and went home. And spied on her from the window. Yeah, yeah, paranoid, over-protective, control freak...whatever. She had had a snack, water, and potty break, so I thought she was good for a while. Mistake. I went downstairs to do laundry, and a minute later heard pounding on the door and the doorbell ringing and yelling, all at the same time. The kiddo wanted a snack. WTF?

I stood there dumbfounded, because there was no adult in sight and I couldn't figure out how she had gotten home, because, surely she wouldn't walk home unaccompanied? No, of course not. Two of her friends had escorted her. Um, not acceptable. The elder of the two told me, "it's OK, I walked her over". I had to count to 10 to not utter some inappropriate words. I asked his age, to which he replied that he is 7 years old. I told him that the kiddo must walk with a grown up, and if you added his age with the other friend's age, that would be 13, which is still not a grown up. He apologized, and explained to me that he was the one offering the snacks, and that the kiddo came home to get my approval. OK, I can't be mad about that part, even though I did write our phone number on a piece of paper with instructions to have her friend's mom call if she needed anything. Maybe I should have written it on her forehead with a sharpie.

So, then, we were walking back to the neighbors' house when the kiddo decided that she wanted to race her friends. On the road. I grabbed her arm and told her NO, because I had noticed a car coming toward us, and there is that somewhat blind curve I have mentioned before (in the same context--go figure). She put up a fight, and only stopped when I threatened not to let her watch Rudolph tonight. I am loving Christmas more and more. Maybe not for the right reasons, but it works for me.

Going All Scroogy at the Book Fair

"No. You can't have another book". That is not a sentence I ever thought I would say--I love books, and am thrilled that the kiddo does, too. Reading is important in our house; we read books to the kiddo before bed, and I try to squeeze in as much reading time as I can. Tonight, however, it was different, because we were at the Book Fair.

Selling books as a fundraiser for the kiddos school? Great idea! Her teacher helping her make a wish list of all the books she wants? Fantastic! Doing it right before Christmas? Are you freakin' kidding me?!

If there were a way to covertly buy the books on the wish list, I'd be all for it, but there was no way I could go without the kiddo. She was quite excited to show me how they set the book fair up in the school library, and to point out all the books on her wish list. The wish list turned out to be irrelevant, though, because the kiddo noticed book that had previously escaped her attention. This would normally please me immensely, and I would typically give in and buy one more (is it spoiling your child if you buy them lots of books? No, I didn't think so, either). The problem: some of the books she picked out are ones that I know for a fact she is getting for Christmas! I had to revert to my one book policy that we had discussed at home, which dashed her hopes of adding to her purchases.

All in all, I think I handled it well; the kiddo and I shared quality time at the book fair, hubby read the new book to her tonight, and we participated in the school's fundraiser. But, really, I would have spent more if the sale hadn't been so close to Christmas. Just sayin'.

I'm Calling Santa!

It's December! Cold and snow (yeah, right, not with global warming) and, of course, Christmas! My kiddo has conscientiously poured over Toys R Us catalogs and other ads, circling everything she wants. Which is more or less everything in the catalog. Her behavior, though, is less than stellar. This is not out of the ordinary; it is often less than stellar. She is 5, after all. However, what I really love about the holidays, especially the time leading up to Christmas, is the threat of displeasing Santa.

I have to admit that we don't have an Elf on the Shelf. Shocking, yes, but that is the subject of another post. That's not to say that I don't use Christmas as a threat. I do. In fact, just today I have had to threaten to call the North Pole. Twice. I don't save these threats for major meltdowns, either. Whining? I'm gonna call the North Pole. Not cooperating? I'm texting Santa. Attitude? I'm sending an email. All of these threats result in pleas of "No! Don't do it!" and a rapid improvement of behavior. Is this considered bribery? Aren't we, as good parents, not supposed to resort to bribery in order to guarantee good behavior? The parenting gurus are opposed to bribery...I say: whatever works!

Listen, all too soon, the kiddo won't even believe in Santa. I'm going to get as much mileage out of this season as I can. If you are one of the minority, like me, who don't even have a resident Elf, feel free to borrow my primary blackmail tool: when the kiddo is misbehaving, I whip out my phone and call my mom. When she answers, I say "This is [the kiddo's] mom. I need to report ___."  Fortunately, my mom is smart enough to play along (if she protested too loudly, the kiddo might be able to hear her and recognize her voice). I can then relay a "message" from one of the elves, basically telling the kiddo to knock it off or she won't get anything on Christmas. Most likely, by next year she will be suspicious and ask to talk to the elf. I'm not sure that my mom is up for that, so I may be auditioning potential elves before then. Or I may just cave and get an Elf on the Shelf.