Don't Expect Everyone to Move Over to Make Room for You

Today I was in the stairwell at work when two people came from the opposite direction. One of them was one step ahead of the other, but they were basically walking side by side. Now, by all rights, the one in the "middle" should have moved over so as not to bump into me, right? Well, she didn't. And guess what? I didn't move over, either. I am faculty, and she was clearly a student, but in the stairwell, we were equals.  So, there was no way I was going to step aside and flatten myself against the rail. In fact, I didn't even move my book bag out of the way. She bumped into it, and didn't apologize, but then, neither did I. I figured that since she didn't move over, she wanted to bump into my book bag.

This type of thing has happened to me before, but on a sidewalk rather than in a stairwell. I have been walking down the sidewalk and have encountered two and sometimes even three people walking side by side coming straight at me. When I was younger, I would step off the sidewalk entirely to let them pass. Then it occurred to me that there was no need for me to do that; one (or two) of them needed to step back so that we wouldn't all run into each other. I realized that I am not inferior, and as long as I keep to my part of the sidewalk, I'm should not have to step aside in that situation.

So, really, what was the best way to handle this? I didn't want to say "excuse me", because I wasn't in the wrong. Yelling "please don't run into me" would have been a bit extreme, and "excuse you" would have been too rude. Stopping the person in question to explain why her behavior bothered me would have been ridiculous.

I'm not even going to try to explain this to the kiddo until she is a good bit older. If I teach her basic good manners, hopefully it will occur to her to not expect everyone to move over to make room for her. As for the girl woman in the stairwell, well, I'm not her mommy. But I am mean enough to let her run into my book bag.

Happy Halloween!

OMG, I love Halloween! The decorations, the costumes, hearing "Thriller" on all the radio stations...and ok, yes, the candy! Well, some of the candy. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, yes! Cheap crap made in China? Not so much.

When I was a kid, my parents examined all of my candy in case it had been tampered with. In particular, they were looking for something that had been unwrapped or something that had needles inserted into it (seriously, what kind of sicko would do something like that?). Parents were even encouraged to have the police or fire department examine trick-or-treat goodies.

Now that I purchase my own Halloween candy to give out and have a kiddo out collecting candy, I have become aware of cheap candy. It used to be that Palmer candies were the low-end candies, especially their chocolates, since they were diluted with oils. Now, I'm more concerned with candy made in China. Hey, they managed to poison pet food, infant formula, and children's toys. We're supposed to trust them with candy? Isn't it enough that we have to contend with high-fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oils, artificial colors and the like? Some candies even contain "beef gelatin" (Avengers candies, I'm looking at you). The kiddo and I are vegetarians, so that is a no-go for us, but really, why put beef gelatin in candy?

So, this Halloween, this Mean Mommy will not only make sure that the kiddo is wearing something light-colored and reflective; not running too far ahead of me; saying "trick or treat" and "thank you"; not taking more than one piece of candy per house; and returning home at a reasonable time, but Mean Mommy will also be examining the candy for tampering, discarding the cheap stuff, and maybe even stealing a Reese's Cup...

Have fun and stay safe!

Snow--uh, Wind Day!

No school today! I remember how I used to love snow days! Today we are having a wind day rather than a snow day, and that's putting a damper on things since I can't send the kiddo outside to play. She thinks she should watch TV all day, and keeps subtly trying to get me to agree. Subtly for her, that is. She suggests that she "go downstairs"--where the TV is--to which I enthusiastically exclaim "Cool! You can play in your kitchen!", or "Fun! Your tent is downstairs!". Needless to say, the kiddo is not as excited about her kitchen or tent as I am.

When she started playing her flute, I threatened to send her outside to play it (that's the rule, no flute- or whistle-playing in the house. They are officially categorized as outside toys), then warned her that it might blow away. That suggestion wasn't well-received, either.

Then, the kiddo started loudly complaining that she was bored. I got her puzzles, crayons, and fake tattoos out and we spent some time with those, but when they lost their appeal, she started complaining again. The next time she whined about how bored she was, I told her that I needed some help with cleaning and that she could start by sweeping the steps. The kiddo is now playing with her i-XL, and even though she is playing some game that sounds like singing cats, I much prefer that to the flute, whining and complaining.

Please, can there be school tomorrow?

That's Disgusting--So Don't Let It Happen To You!

Today I was talking to a Mean Dad who told me how he resorted to showing his young son graphic pictures of what could happen to him if he continued chewing on electrical wires (yikes!). So, because of the same compulsion that makes me look at road kill, I had to google some images. The results range from silly cartoon drawings to photos of nasty-looking burns. Then I googled other awful things, like "bike hit by a car", "2nd degree burns" (didn't make it to 3rd degree), "broken arm", "smoker's lungs", "skin cancer", "meth mouth"...OK, some of those things I don't have to worry about for a while (hopefully not at all!), but I am adding this idea to my arsenal of weapons against bad/undesirable/dangerous behavior.  I think I will start with "rotten teeth", "head lice", and "hit by a car". *Shudder*  *Cringe*  *Wince*

Love My Girl!

You may be thinking that all I do is complain about my kiddo. Well, it's true, I do tend to criticize her choices and detail my mean mommy reactions to them. However, there is a lot about my kiddo that I am proud of. Just to mention a few things:

• The kiddo makes a lot of good food choices. She often chooses the healthy option (fruit, pretzels, etc) over the sweet option. Not always. She is a kid, after all.
•  She is kind to other children, and she likes to share. On her terms, and that's OK.
• She speaks well, has a large vocabulary, and uses good grammar.
• She understands the value of her toys.
• She appreciates books.
• She is healthy and enjoys being active.

The kiddo is an awesome little girl, and I can't take credit for all of it, but I really think that my choices have influenced her choices (like limiting sweets and banning crappy food; making her play nice and take care of smaller children; correcting her grammar and making her repeat things the correct way; "selling" one of her toys for money to replace something she damaged by being careless; making her leave me alone when I am enjoying my own reading time; and making her walk to and from school)

As I've mentioned in previous posts, I have received criticism, sneers, and questions from other people in addition to whining, complaining, and claims that "it's not fair" from the kiddo herself. But when I look at her, I know that I am doing some things just right.  

Meeee-owww!

Sometimes having a kid and a kit is like having two kids, in that the one (the kid), likes to bug the heck out of the other (the kit). Today Mr. Kitty Cat had to go to the vet for his yearly checkup and vaccinations, and I just couldn't get us in until after school, which means that the kiddo had to come with us. Mr. Kitty Cat loathes his carrier, so I have to be sneaky about catching him and stuffing him into it. In order to give myself extra time in case the cat put up a fight, I put him into his carrier before getting the kiddo from school. As soon as we got in the door, she went straight for the carrier and started bugging him.

The last time we took the cat to the vet, I put his carrier in the back seat, which wasn't the best idea. The kiddo has a new car seat, which gives her a little more freedom of movement than the old one, and she spent the entire ride to the vet's office leaning over and reaching into the carrier. She thinks she is petting the cat, but she is really adding to his overall discomfort and anxiety. So, this time, the carrier stayed up front with me.

The kiddo just couldn't stand it, though, and as soon as we got into the exam room at the vet's office and the vet was examining the cat, she started in again. She was trying to pet and poke the cat, making him very agitated. I told her to stop, twice, then I had to physically remove her from the area around the exam table.

If the vet hadn't been in the room, I'm sure we would have experienced a full on fit. I asked the kiddo if she would like being poked and annoyed when she was in the middle of a doctor appointment, getting shots. She vehemently said "no", so I pointed out that the cat must feel the same way.

The kiddo loves the cat; he is...tolerant of her. In time, when she learns to stop bothering him, they could be friends. I guess I am overly protective of them both--the cat was a stray and is skittish around loud noises (like screaming, wailing, giggling...), and the kiddo loves animals so much that I don't want that to change if she goads the cat so much that he scratches her.

Funny Punishment

This will go into my arsenal of parenting tips for when the kiddo is a teenager:

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/parents-punish-teen-posting-goofy-photos-her-facebook-182700019.html