Right There, In the Middle of the Kite Festival

It's April, that beautiful hot/cold/sunny/windy/rainy/snowy month where a beautiful day means getting outside, and for us on Saturday, flying a kite! Hubby and I took the kiddo to the Kite Festival at the park, and had a great time, but I think I missed the opportunity to meet my mommy soul mate.

There she was, wrangling three kids who were each going in a different direction, when she suddenly told them in no uncertain terms: "Don't go that way! Someone is smoking and I don't want you breathing that!"

First, don't get me started on why the county would allow smoking in a public venue filled with kids, or why anyone would even think it's acceptable to smoke at such an event. What I was impressed with was (1) her no-nonsense tone of voice; (2) her lack of concern about whether anyone else--including the offender--heard her; (3) her desire to protect her kids from someone else's addiction; and (4) her way of reinforcing that smoking is unhealthy/undesirable/unacceptable.

I wish I had stopped to talk to her, but maybe our paths will cross again...

Shaming as Punishment

Here is another case of parents using public shaming of their child as punishment. This last-resort approach to parenting seems to be catching on, but these parents have received a lot of criticism as well as support. When other attempts at correcting a child's behavior fail, what is wrong with public punishment, especially when a parent is with the child and they are in a safe environment? The girl in question is 13 years old, an age when image is extremely important.

When my dad was a child, any bad behavior at school was reported to my grandparents by the other kids, and the punishment they received at school was matched at home--and was probably the main topic of conversation at the dinner table. Is public shaming the new, more sophisticated version of this?

Read the article here.

Mean Mommy = Sick Brain

Another Mean Mommy Story:
My friend, K, was trying to get her young son ready for bed, but he kept pleading to watch a movie. E, who is 5, was "sad and mad", and his big bro T, who is 16, asked him what was wrong. E replied that it was a secret and he couldn't say, but T wasn't having any of that. T said that holding in feelings of being sad and mad could make his brain sick. E really took that to heart, and gave his mom an earful, venting his feelings. The next morning, his mom had to put her foot down about something else, and E again got upset. This time, though, he told her that she was making his brain sick!

Why The Self-Proclaimed "Meanest Mother in Wyoming" Rocks

This Mean Mommy rocks--not only is she punishing her son by selling his truck, she is announcing to everyone his poor decision! Love it!

Mean Mom's Cellphone Rules

Greg Hoffman is a kid who just got an iPhone from his parents. His mom, Janell Hoffman, wrote these [slightly edited] rules for its use:

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?
2. I will always know the password.
3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad". Not ever.
4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.
5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill.
6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs.
7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.
8-9. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.
10. No porn.
11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.
12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation.
13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.
14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO -- fear of missing out.
15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.
16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.
17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.
18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

Another Note!

Another friend of mine, M, once received a note from her son claiming she was mean! Her sons loved to watch Saturday morning cartoons (back in the day when cartoons weren't on TV 24/7), but before she would allow them to do so, she made them hone their writing skills. M wasn't confident that her kids' school did an adequate job of teaching some of the basics, like writing, so she gave them assignments that they had to complete before watching TV. One of her favorite assignments was to give them pictures from magazines and have them tell a story. However, one time, one of her sons decided to write her a note telling her how unfair it was that he had to write every Saturday morning! The forced writing seems to have paid off, since they are both very good writers, and both are very good speakers (often heard on the radio!).

You Know You Are A Mean Mommy When...

...your child writes you a note telling you how "bad" you are!

This note is awesome! My friend, D, isn't even certain what prompted it! It could have been the fact that she forced her daughter to take her medicine...or maybe because she received $100.00 and plans to spend it on herself instead of buying her daughter an American Girl doll (gasp!)...could it be because D won't let her daughter paint her own bedroom? Or maybe because she nixes her kiddo's pranks...? Who knows? Keep up the good work! Mean Mommies rock!

I love featuring other Mean Mommies on my blog. If your child thinks you are unreasonable, please let me know. If you feel that you turned out OK because of your own Mean Mommy, I'd like to hear about that, too.