No New Back Pack; We're Going For the Shabby Chic Look

It seems that yesterday's rant post about back to school supplies resonated with a few of you. Let me add fuel to the fire by stating that I won't be getting the kiddo a new back pack or lunch box this year. The ones she has are both in decent condition and I refuse to be swayed by consumerism. OK, I know that next year, year after that at the latest, the kiddo is going to want the "It" back pack (no licensed characters, please!), and I know that I will have to compromise a bit, for the sake of my sanity. So, as long as I can get away with it, I am going to reuse and recycle. The back pack is a little dingy and has a small hole in it--but it can be washed and repaired. I may even use a cute patch on it instead of plain, ugly duct tape. Oh, and for the record, neither her back pack or lunch box is monogrammed. Instead, they both have her name and initials written on them with a Sharpie, in my relatively neat, steady hand writing. Don't get me wrong--I would spoil the kiddo if I could, but that would result in (1) a spoiled kiddo, (2) money wasted on said spoiling, and (3) the lesson that things like new, monogrammed back packs and lunch boxes every year is the norm. By the way, did you know that in Guatemala, children are not allowed to attend school if they don't own a pair of shoes? In families with many children, the boys are provided for first, so that means that many girls are not able to go to school because the parents can't afford shoes for them. Instead, they often help their mothers by preparing food to sell on the street, sometimes right outside the schools they are not allowed to attend. I visited a school in Guatemala and was heartbroken to see girls looking wistfully in the windows. Is getting a new back pack or lunch box every single year really so important?

I'm Keeping One of These Darn Glue Sticks For Myself (Sniff, Sniff)

It's a month until school starts, but we have already been inundated with sale flyers featuring back to school products and clothes, and the dreaded school supply list. I say "dreaded" because such lists tend to raise my blood pressure. Last year, I branded myself as a rebel when I refused to buy a "rest mat" for the kiddo to lie down on at school. Hey, they cost $9.99, and I knew that for all the napping/resting she would be doing, she could get by very well with a soft towel. When I ventured into her classroom for the first time and noticed that every single cubby but hers had such a mat in it, I felt a momentary pang of guilt, then I silently cursed the system that made me feel that way. A towel was perfectly fine in preschool. Why a fancy schmancy mat in kindergarten? The kiddo never mentioned it, so she was either OK with her fluffy towel or, as I suspect, didn't need it often enough for it to be an issue.

This year, the kiddo is going int FIRST GRADE (tear), and while the school supply list doesn't include a rest mat, it does include a few items that make me scratch my head and think of creative curses. Here's a few:

• 6 glue sticks. OK, I get it, they use a lot of glue. Or maybe someone's sniffing it. I'll buy the glue, darn it, but I don't like it. (If someone's sniffing it, that makes me a supplier!)
• 2 boxes of crayons. Sure, I'll buy 2 boxes, but I'm only sending one in at a time. 
• 2 boxes of #2 pencils. When I was in school, we got a brand new pencil at the start of every 9-week period. Just sayin'. 
• 2 pair of scissors. Because...they expect kids to lose the first pair? Because they teach kids how to cut with both hands...at the same time? This one is causing me no end of confusion. Am I really buying a pair of scissors for a child who can't afford their own? I'm OK with that, but not if I'm tricked into it. One pair. Maybe even the pair from last year. Will that jeopardize the kiddo's social standing? If the mat thing didn't do it, will scissors?
• Box of small baggies (girls - sandwich; boys - gallon). If there are roughly 16 kids per class, and each kid brings in the requested box of baggies, and each box contains 50 (sandwich) or 40 (gallon) bags, that is over 600 individual baggies. What the hell do they need all those bags for? Are they really for teachers to use to pack their lunches? Really--somebody please explain. This one makes no sense to me.
• 2 dry erase markers. Per child. Again, if we estimate 16 kids per class, that's 32 markers. I don't expect teachers to have to buy their own supplies, but golly, can't the county do it? If the administrators can't afford to buy markers for their teachers, perhaps they should look at reducing their football budget. Please don't burn my house down.
• Suggested supplies to promote and maintain healthy habits: 2 boxes of tissues, hand sanitizer. If healthy habits are so important, why can't the schools provide these supplies? Oh, don't worry, I will be sending in my share of tissues and hand sanitizer, mainly because I don't want any viruses to make their way back to my house.

Now, where's that glue stick...?

I'm Cutting You Off! End of Story!

It has been one of those days: one of those perfect, sunny not-too-hot-not-too-cold days, lots of fun stuff to do but not jam-packed. Ahh, summer...

It is 10:34 P.M. and I just go the kiddo to bed, and I'm fairly certain she's not asleep yet, even though she is exhausted. She was up early for camp, then played at home, then went to Nana's house and did lots more stuff while I was at a meeting. Heck, I'm tired, and I took a nap this afternoon.

But back to the kiddo. Kids thrive on routine, and even if bedtime gets pushed back a little (or a lot), the kiddo needs to stick to some semblance of her typical bed time routine: get a shower, brush her teeth, books/stories/snuggles/hugs and kisses. I have tried to have Nana read a few books to the kiddo before I pick her up on nights she has kept the kiddo, which works out fine because (1) the kiddo loves her Nana and (2) the kiddo loves books. However, those are bonus books, and she still expects the usual amount when she finally gets home and is ready for bed. Tonight she had an abbreviated shower (to wash off sunscreen and bug spray) and I only read her one book. Not the typical three or four or five. I was going to try to get away without even reading the one book, but it was clear that that was not an option. She argued half-heartedly for more, but gave up. It is 10:45 now, and very quiet. The kiddo must have fallen asleep...shhhhh.

Mean Mommies Don't Get Vacay?

So, I took the week off. Well, from blogging. As a mommy, especially a mean mommy, I don't get a lot of time off. Hubby had some vacay time--most of which he spent working from home--so I decided to take it easy, too. (Yeah, right.)

During the week, we went berry picking, to a pool (the "Frog Pond", for you locals), a "cash mob", a "pub run", a local farmers' market, and a kids' race. Hubby and I also took a day off and took a day trip to do some wine tasting and then some shopping at Trader Joe's. Whew! With all the gallivanting around, I had plenty of opportunities for mean mommy moments. The highlights:

• The kiddo insisted on doing the pub run with hubby and me. We didn't have a babysitter lined up, so we said OK. Big mistake. Although she can happy trudge along for over the 3-mile distance, she chose not to do so and complained the whole time. Hubby and I (mostly hubby) took turns walking with her, but she still complained. However, I had a little mishap and ended up bloody and bruised in two places. I kept running, reminding the kiddo how I had major boo boos and yet kept going.
• Right after having seen her friends at the berry farm, the Frog Pond, and the race, the kiddo asked when she could have a play date with her friends. Excuse me? She got to see a whole bunch of her friends; I'm not sure who else she expected to see.

Another mom brought her kids to the kids' race, and she had some trouble with one of them:
"Don't you hate it when one of your kids behaves so inappropriately that despite your warnings, you have to leave an event, thus disappointing your other kid (and you). Luckily other kid isn't that bummed or else I'd have two pissy kids in their rooms. Gotta follow through and stay in control. And note to difficult kid, if you think I'm mean now, just wait until you're a teenager." -- mean mommies don't get time off...

Opera Drives Me Bat5h!t Crazy!

In a perfect world, no one would annoy us, irritate us, or drive us crazy. We would live together in harmony, appreciating and valuing our differences. But no, not in reality. Every day--some days, multiple times--I must grit my teeth and suffer through the recurrence of a kiddo habit that drives me crazy. Well, there are several of them, but the one that is my current pet peeve is when the kiddo speaks and/or sings in an extremely high, shrill, screechy voice. It is so high, words are indistinguishable, except maybe to a dog. Once, I saw a glass vibrating and was certain it was going to shatter. Is the kiddo role playing--taking on the persona of a favorite TV character or imaginary friend? If so, should I yell at the offending character? Or is she channeling her inner Mariah Carey? No Grammy for you, my dear! Generally, I approve of her creative endeavors, unless they cause me pain. While I haven't yet had to pop an aspirin because of her shrillness, I can't say that I'm a fan.

So, my question is, do I have to put up with a habit that drives me bat5h!t crazy?

Mothering is the ultimate sacrifice: we give up part of our bodies to grow our babies; we sacrifice sleep to attend to them around the clock. We grudgingly accept the loss of huge chunks of hair while those extra pounds refuse to budge. Our schedules shift to accommodate play dates and mommy-and-me classes, then drop-off and pick-up, and finally, extra-curricular and after school activities.

Been there, done most of that. Why, then, should I also lose both my sanity and my hearing?

Ignoring the Emotional Blackmail of a Pint-Sized Terrorist

It's only noon, and I feel like it has been a long day.

First, the kiddo and I went to the gym--I went to two classes and she hung out in the child care area with some friends. Typical Tuesday. What happened on the way home, however, was far from typical. At least it better be. It better be an isolated incident.

When we left the gym, the kiddo was her normal, happy-go-lucky self, until we got in the car. Then, it was as if someone flipped a switch and she started complaining about being hungry. Mind you, she had breakfast. She just chose not to eat all of it. That, too, is fairly common, so I wasn't concerned. Apparently, I should have been. The kiddo started whining about how she was starving, and asked if we could go out to get something to eat. I said no-can-do, since we had food at home and I didn't feel like going anywhere but the shower. That set her off. She insisted that she was starving and demanded that I take her somewhere and buy her something to eat. When I asked if she had eaten all her breakfast, she said that she hadn't. (Um, could that be the reason she was so hungry??) Finally, I had to tell her that I refused to have the same conversation over and over, and that she already knew the answers to the questions she was asking. That was when she exploded. "You always do that!" she bellowed, and started throwing her paper around the back seat. OK. Enough of the 'tude. I pulled into the turning lane, put the flashers on, and told her that I wasn't taking her anywhere until she calmed down and started acting like a lady. She pouted the rest of the way home. Then she ate the rest of her oatmeal and politely asked for some apple sauce. After she ate that, I offered her a Lara Bar and that made her day, and she thanked me and was back to being my sweet kiddo.

OK, so the kiddo was hungry because she didn't eat enough before we went out. I get that. I can remind her when we will be gone for several hours and encourage her to eat a good meal so she doesn't get hungry, but I can't force feed her. I could have packed a snack, but I was planning on coming straight home. The real issue seemed to be that the kiddo wanted to go out to eat. We went to the pool yesterday and had snacks in the car on the way home, and Sunday, hubby took her to the fair and they came home with milkshakes, so I think she is going out enough and getting sufficient treats. The rest seems to be pushing my buttons and testing me to see when I will cave. So, did I cave when I gave her the Lara Bar? I was going to give it to her anyway...

She Wore A....

Today at the pool, a mom was observed smacking her son because he tried to pull down her strapless bathing suit top. I don't know if he was anywhere successful, but please. If you are going to wear a strapless top around kids, that's what's going to happen. Have some common sense!