I've noticed an interesting correlation: I am often mean when people don't let me have time to myself. Of course, when the kiddo is about to fall on her head, wants too much tv time, or exhibits rude, unacceptable behavior, I fall into the "mean" category, but there are other times I can be mean, too. This is not exactly something I'm proud of, but it really can't be helped.
For example, I clean a lot. I like things clean, but I hate the act of cleaning. Paradox, huh? So, when something is pristine and/or just the way I like it, it pisses me off to no end when it gets messed up and I have to redo it. Really, I could be reading, talking to my bff, eating chocolate from my secret stash, or even cleaning other things, so having to
re-clean something does
not make me happy.
In those instances when I have to redo something, I tend to get mean. I mutter under my breath, stomp my feet, and, yes, yell. Then I feel bad. Most of the time the kiddo is just being her exuberant--and often careless--self, and I certainly don't want to put a damper on that (well, maybe on the careless part).
Even when everything is
squeaky relatively clean, she can turn me into
SuperMean Mommy by demanding too much of me when I haven't adequately taken care of myself. Like the time I came home from the gym famished, and she demanded yogurt with honey and this and that and the other thing; she had already eaten breakfast, and I had eaten nothing at all that day. I snarled at her, but really, can't I eat without feeling like Cinderella, never getting to go to the ball? Why do I have to be mean in order to take care of myself?
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