Sunday, August 25, 2013

Take That, Potty Mouths!

Another way to prevent your kids from getting an earful of someone else's foul language: drown them out by singing.

I have only had to use this technique a few times, and the offenders didn't raise a fuss--they probably thought I was just singing to my kiddo or singing along with her. However, if I suspect that a choice word is imminent, I'm prepared to break out into an impromptu version of "Jingle Bells" or "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". One isolated word--not OK, but not worth a whole song. A stream of profanity, though--it's gonna get loud.

Here's the thing: while I am by no means expecting a record deal, I have had singing lessons, and several people have complimented my singing. They must be tone deaf, but I appreciate the praise. But if I need to drown out the F word, I will do so by singing badly.

This decision was made after an incident at Barnes and Noble, in which a teenager dropped the F bomb in front of my then 2-year-old kiddo. I politely asked him to watch his language, only to be called a b!tc#. If faced with that situation again, I would have ignored him and belted out a song. Maybe I'll make one up...fade to dream sequence...

"you gotta shut your potty mouth!
don't wanna hear it!
yeah shut your potty mouth!
I won't be near it!
keep it up, I'll keep on singin'.
uh huh, until your ears are ringin'!"

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